Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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