Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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