I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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