either way he was missing a nipple.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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