I'm drive I can fine osifer
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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