You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
