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• (415): View more from California

  Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.

  (360): View more from Washington

  You're getting good at this, you know that?

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.

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• (914): View more from New York

  I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already

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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore

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• (818): View more from California

  Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I have major gossip for you.

  (1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Oh no, did you have sex last night?

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME

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