the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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