You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
