If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Randomize
