hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize