when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
