Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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