We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
whose ass print is on the piano?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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