Define "chronic" masturbator.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize