I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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