hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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