I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
