put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize