You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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