just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
