Apparently you make a good broom.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
