Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
