we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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