i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
