I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
