If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
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