he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Who died my cat blue again?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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