just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
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