And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
