dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
