my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
