"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
