You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
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