I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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