worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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