Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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