I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
