There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
