The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
