I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Randomize
