i think i have herpe
just one?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
