why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
