please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
