Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
