dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
