The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
