i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
sex in a hospital.. check
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
