you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
