no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Randomize
