I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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