I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
