Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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