I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
