wrigley field is MILF paradise
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize