If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
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He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
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you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize