this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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