I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
