She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
