HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
