TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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