We need to rekindle our bromance
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
PANTIES FOUND
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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