This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
