i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
