yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
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