are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Pappa wants mamma naked
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
So here I am, sexting at work.
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