remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
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I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
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Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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