i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
