but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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