i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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