You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
she told me i tasted like america
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
